Zimbabwe

Mugabe’s magician proves there’s still life in Zimbabwe

Posted on by chrisjeff

An article on Zimbabwe in The Times on Friday made me smile for the first time in the two and half years that I have been reading about this ruined African nation. If it weren’t for The Times’ paywall, I’d happily link to Jan Raath’s article, but in lieu of that, I’ll briefly summarise.

Robert Mugabe Zimbabwe Oil Petrol Pump
Zimbabwe is desperate for diesel

Nomatter Tagarira, a spirit medium aged 35, was jailed this week for 39 months. Her crime was fooling Robert Mugabe and his officials into believing that she had supernatural powers to conjure diesel from a rock near her home, north of Harare. So successful was her deception that she was hailed as potential solution to the country’s energy problems by government ministers. Furthermore she managed to maintain her audacious con for over a year.

This was a sly, calculated ruse, including a secret signal given to an assistant, a length of piping concealed within the rock and £1.7million in largesse lavished on her by the government. At one point she was even supplied with a 50-vehicle convoy to help her travel on her night-time rituals, The Times reports. The officials were so taken in by it all that they employed an armed guard to stand watch and make sure no-one stole the supposedly blessed stone.

The reason this story makes me smile is not because I like reading about Zimbabwean citizens being imprisoned by Mugabe’s infamously brutal regime, far from it. The reason I reacted with mirth, is that the story of Ms Tagarira proves that there is life in Zimbabwean citizens yet. Rather than being downbeat and despondent after 30 years of reckless autocratic rule, there are still jokers, knaves, tricksters and opportunists trying to make themselves a sneaky fortune.

Furthermore, the sentence handed down was surprisingly lenient. Zimbabwe is the kind of nation where political allegiance is enough to get you thrown in prison, so the fact that serious fraud, which made fools of government officials, got such a moderate punishment seems to me as evidence that the judge may have even seen the funny side of this debacle. Ignatius Mugova, the magistrate handing down the sentence, freely admitted that “many people became gullible.”

True, it might have been a different case if Ms Tagarira had been white rather than black, but still the moderate sentence (which she undoubtedly deserved) adds a certain levity to this story. The enterprising spirit of chancers and renegades is alive and well in Zimbabwe, and it is a greater nation for it.

Obama: Mugabe is a ‘Threat’

Posted on by chrisjeff

Diplomatic hostilities resumed today between Zimbabwe and the rest of the world, as Barack Obama lead several countries in pouring condemnation on Robert Mugabe’s regimen. The decision to uphold trade sanctions against Zimbabwe for another year is hardly surprising, but what is really noteworthy is Obama’s choice of rhetoric:

The crisis constituted by the actions and policies of certain members of the government of Zimbabwe […] has not been resolved. These actions and policies pose a continuing, unusual and extraordinary threat to the foreign policy of the United States.

Seems rather similar to a certain G.W. Bush nearly six years ago:

The terrorist threat to America and the world will be diminished the moment that Saddam Hussein is disarmed.

I’m not comparing Obama to Bush, or suggesting that an Iraq-style campaign against Zimbabwe should be undertaken. However, it seems like ‘threat’ is a very active noun for Barack to use, and it suggests escalating action in the near future. He may not refer to terrorism, but the choice to call this an ‘extraordinary’ threat sets up Zimbabwe as an unavoidable issue.

The main reason the UN has not interfered in Zimbabwe so far is that the only threat Mugabe poses is to his own people. Whilst his actions and policies may result in a domestic humanitarian crisis, it is not a crisis of international relations. Therefore the rest of the world contentedly sits on the sidelines and prefers to act via aid rather than intervention or, dare I say it, regimen change.

One thing is clear: Zimbabwe cannot stay the way it is for much longer.

A Feast Fit For A Fiend

Posted on by chrisjeff

Happy Birthday, Mr Mugabe! Here’s hoping it’s your last.

A sign of good taste?
A sign of good taste?

The Times published today plans for a birthday party which would be vulgar enough if it was for the chief exec of RBS, but these lavish celebration plans for Robert Mugabe‘s 85th birthday venture into the absurd:

2,000 bottles of champagne (Moët & Chandon or ’61 Bollinger preferred); 8,000 lobsters; 100kg of prawns; 4,000 portions of caviar; 8,000 boxes of Ferrero Rocher chocolates; 3,000 ducks…

It goes on. It only takes one bleak statistic to give this decadence some context. At 85, Robert Mugabe will be 2.6 times the national life expectancy for a Zimbabwean man.

His excessive pride is clearly not hindered by the fact that his party are asking for donations to fund the party in US Dollars, since the Zimbabwean Dollar faded into meaninglessness when it hit the 1 trillion mark last week.

The detail that really strikes home with me is the choice of “8,000 boxes of Ferrero Rocher chocolates”. For one, they’ll only get stuck in your teeth, but I always assumed they were chocolates for the aspirational, not those who actually have money to throw around. I can only hope newly appointed Prime Minister, Morgan Tsvangirai will respond in kind: “Mr Mugabe, with these Rocher you are really spoiling us!”

On a more serious note, Martin Fletcher from The Times, quotes an unnamed aid worker who says:

“It’s just appalling. It’s like they are either completely oblivious to what’s happening in their country, or completely impervious and just don’t care.”

I can hardly believe that Mugabe can still be oblivious to the suffering of his people, more likely it’s the latter: he simply doesn’t care. So Zimbabwe is worth a thought on February 21st – a  starving country seething as its decadent dictator dines in style.

New President, New Approach

Posted on by chrisjeff
Getting down to work
Getting down to work

A week on from Obama’s inauguration, and he sure is quick getting to work on the unenviable task of cleaning up the biggest mess America has found itself in since the ’30s.

Closing Guantanamo Bay on Day One was obviously a key symbolic victory for liberty and the concept of a fair trial, and his early diplomatic phone calls show his commitment to pursuing peace in the Middle East.

But today we hear the news which, for me at least, is the biggest step forward for this new administration. Obama and his team are ready to take on a global villain called Robert who has been wreaking havoc in Africa.

I watched intently last March as the spectre of Mugabe seemed to wane, before he heartlessly overthrew the election result and drove his opponent Morgan Tsvangirai out of the country. Now it seems the UN is finally readying itself to step in, taking the lead from Obama’s UN Ambassador Susan Rice.

This policy decision is all the more admirable considering the aforementioned American mess – you would have thought Obama would be content with juggling a collapsing economy, motor industry and two contentious foreign conflicts. I guess he just likes a challenge.

This move for me marks the biggest difference between the Bush years and the fledgling Obama era. Instead of simply consulting the UN just in case they agreed before firing gung-ho into Iraq, it looks like though Obama is keen to get everyone (or at least the majority) onside before getting serious about Zimbabwe. Seems international diplomacy isn’t dead after all…

p.s. For those who prefer their commentary on international politics to be more well-read and erudite, please have a look at this blog by my good friend Charlotte.

[Wordpress spellcheck – Obama, not found. Suggestions: ABBA?]